that awkward moment

so much is running through my head right now.

i can't even grasp it all.

my chest has tightened,

and tears are filling my eyes.

it kinda sucks,

feeling like this.

wanting to cry,

but not over this.

not over such a person.

such a boy.

who left your life two months ago.

it completely and utterly and massively sucks.

all of this,

because of that awkward moment,

when you're on your other friends' facebook,

and you're glazing over the news feed,

and you come across his relationship update,

and it absolutely kills you.

we're not facebook friends for a reason.

but i had to see.

and it has to kill me!

why?

it wasn't even like that.

but to know that his life is changing,

and i know not a single detail,

i think that's what kills the most.

sucks.

really really sucks.