for Adam.

i haven't blogged in forever!

since September sixteenth, to be exact.

and there has been one person who has asked me multiple times,

"when are you gonna blog??"

so,

this is for you, Adam. 

well,

it's been so long..i don't even know where to begin..

[emma facebook stalks herself]

ohhh! i remember now..

i hung out with my old friend Rachel Staples.

we got to catch up and watch Mulan..

life can't get much better than classic Disney movies.

i lost a friend..

ben?
from my earlier posts?

yeahh.

i said goodbye to him.

and anyone who knows me,

knows i HATE saying goodbye.

it's just not something i do,

or do easily.

but he wasn't what he seemed to be,

and not what i needed in my life.

a fake.

i saw and now own one of THE funniest movies.

EVER...

if you have not seen Bridesmaids,

you MUST see it noooooooooow.

I..uhm...

got a frapping job!!

yess,

yes i did.

ahh, i love it.

well, okay, i don't loooove it.

it kinda sucks.

but i'm a cashier..at Rally's.

what can i say?

[my personal statement does not reflect the view's of the company]

yupp..

i really just did that ^^^

i kinda have too...

lolololololololololololol.

i took a big step....

i asked someone to winter formal!!

Keith Konrad Heiner.

he's been one of my best friends since ninth grade.

i thought it be appropriate to make him my date for my first dance of highschool.

i got hit on by two black guys...again!

not even kidding.

so i know black guys like their girls big and white..

but come on!

hahaha. ohmyy.

but this time he actually asked for my number..

even after i spilled water on his truck

and my headset got pulled off my head like a loser.

ahh, i must be attractive or something?!
oh God, i hope so.

This song came out,

which gives me hope for the world.

it's beautiful and magical and so moving!

if you haven't heard?
listen to it.

live it.

i helped Laura Belle Davis ask her date to winter formal..

Tangled theme.

it was to die for..so cute!

random adventures like that,

just make my life!

i ventured on just about the best camping trip i have ever been on!

two of my bestest friends came with me, Laura and Jenny♥

we went with the junior highers to lake roosevelt,

for a beautiful weekend, lakeside!

it was so amazing!

we also made a new friend,

Mackenzie Teal..aka Mac.

the coolest little kid! 

he was so fun and got along just like Mac and cheese with us..

get what i did there? :D

i also had the boat ride of my life.

i was sooo sore the next day, i could barely move my neck.

craziest boat driver!

Jenny and i were basically Thor, and REFUSED to let go.

i'd have to say, and everyone on the boat would agree,

it was the most beastly tubing experience ever.

jen, laura and i also got to bond with two guys up there! 

john and john!

aka my pet mexican [jonathon islas]

and john okken...and may i bring this up..just one more time..

HIS NAME IS JUST JOHN.

it's not short for jonathon.

it frustrates me.

and apparently i'm the only one who sees anything wrong with this.

and mr mexican frapping added a 'h' in his name!

whatta punk!

whatever,

i'm over it..now..ahahaha.

i applied at colleges!

ASU & NAU.

i'm super excited..

i hope i get excepted!

i've already been excepted into GCU..

but i'm not sure where i wanna go!

O.o

i got my first paycheck, SONN!

nuff said :]

i got screwed over,

by someone i thought was my best friend.

i hate being treated like i don't matter.

it's not cool.

and i'm about to call her out.

i.

can.

long.

board.

and to any one who knows me,

knows this is a maaaaaaassive accomplishment.

since i basically have ZERO balance.

i've only majorly biffed it once so far..

i'm so proud of myself :D

thank you jonathon edward islas!!!!

[he taught me:D]

i'm pretty sure i found this guy on facebook..

i about died.

this is my favorite song.

haven't heard it?

it's a must.

now.

press play.

i spent a day with my Mexican.

we planned a sick trip to six flags..

interested?! 

hit me up! 

cause it's gonna be siiiick.

but nevertheless,

i love spending time with him,

cause he's one of my best friends,

and mentor..

oh!

and noooo big deal,

but i saw tayor swift in concert.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

:D

it was so amazing!

and beautiful!

and the best birthday present ever!

and i got to catch up with katie davis,

who i love dearly,

but never get to see.</3

and jenjen came too<3

who i love dearly as well.

it was one of the best nights ever.

i don't know how i'll beat it,

this senior year..

so yeah..

that's pretty much what's happened in the last month or so..

it's been a really good month,

when you focus on the good.

i leave you with this,

my current anthem..

NEVER GONNA GROW UP

NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN

♥♥♥

blessings♥

sooo i know this is probably a little,

well actually A LOT,

 different than my few previous posts.

buuut, 

life has taken a turn for the better.

i mean,

i'm always doing good.

well,

better than i deserve

 at least.

but i don't always realize it.

..who does?

this week has just been filled with beautifulness and adventures!

i've spent time with one of my best friends, LauraBelle♥

she hasn't been in my life so much recently,

but i'm glad she's back.

cause she is one of my BEST friends,

and life wouldn't be the same without her.

i've bonded with this really cool kid,

Benjamin.

we met at a concert,

and now,

he's very oddly a pretty big part of my life.

he's older and knowledgeable.

and just helps me with life.

he makes things better.

i'm thankful for him in my life,

as little that he is.

I got hit on.

woah.

shocker, right?

i was shocked.

but then again they were black,

and the black guys always like their women

big and white. :)

but seriously,

one of the best experiences of my life.

two guys walk up, one looks at me, nods and smiles.

i smile back.

he gets closer..

guy 1:"gettin some Rally's?"

me:"nahh, i have an interview!"

guy 2:"ooh, that's why she's smiling so big!"
guy 1:"ahh, she's the girl to know around here."

me:"hahaha..." 

they get their food and then walk back over to the place where i'm sitting

and waiting..

guy 1 taps me.

guy 1:"you look reaaal nice, by the way."

me:"oh! why thank you!"

guy 2:"you got that swaaag, girl"

me:"haha thanks!"

awkward silence for like, five minutes, as they

sit and eat..

guy 1:"soo what time is your interview?"

me:"it waaaas suppose to be at 2:30" (it's now like 2:50ish)

guy 1:"geeze!"

me:"yeahh, and i was like 15 minutes early.."

guy 1:"that's how it always is..you're fifteen minutes early, they're fifteen minutes late."
me:"hahaha, right?"

guy 1:"soo, do you live around here?"
me:"yupp, real close!"

guy 1:"so it's easy to get from there to here, if you work here?"

me:"yupp, pretty much!"
guy 1:"do you go to school, or what?"
me:"yeahh, i'm a senior at Mountain View.."

guy 1:"cool cool. you got a boyfriend at Mountain View?"

me:*ohhhgeeze!*"uhmmm, noo.......they're all mormon."

they both BURST out laughing.

guy 1:"ahh, so you're not mormon??"
me:"no, Christian..i go to a Baptist church."
guy 1:"Me too! i used to go to a Baptist church, but now it's too far away.."

me:"awesome! yeah, everyone thinks i'm mormon.."
guy 2:"you just got that look!"

guy 1:"yeah she does!"me:"they're style is just soooo cute sometimes."
guy 2:"what kinda stuff do you like to do?
in your free time and what not?
do you like to go to movies?.."

me:"uhmmmm.....i like to go on bike rides.

that's what i loooove to do."

guy 2:"i like to ride my bike tooo:)"

me:"awesome!"

guy 2:"mann, we've been talking to her and we don't even know her name! what's your name hun?"

me:"i'm emmajoy"

guy 1&2:"awwhhhhhh!"

me: :DD

guy 2:"she's ment to have that name! always smiling she knew that was gonna be her name."
me:"ahaha. well it was just emma, but i hate that name and my middle name is joy, so i just combined it into emmajoy!"
guy 2:"that's cute!"

me:"what's your guys' names??"
guy 1:"well i'm terrance, and this is julio."

me:"hmm, cool!"
guy 2(julio):"yeah yeah, i know, i'm a black guy named julio."

guy 1(terrance):"weird, right? hahaha"
me:"haha kinda..ahahaha"
it then get's kinda silent and terrance pulls out his phone and looks at me as the manager of Rally's comes out to get me for my interview..

me:"ahhhhh! bye guys!"
julio&terrance:"bye, good luck!"

me:"thanks!!!:D"

they sat there for 95% of my interview,

even after they finished eating.

but they left,

and as they walked by,

terrance looked back at me,

smiled and winked.

i smiled, 

massively,

back at him.

:D

WELL.

so i'm sure that's not the EXACT things that were said,

i mean, 

my memory kinda sucks.

but i know for a fact

that it was 98% that^.
:D

sooo, basically,

if i wouldn't of left,

i'm preeeetty positive terrance would've asked for my number...

and i can't decide if i would've given it to him..

?!?!?!

but anyways!
that was a GREAT day!!

ohh, and my interview went well..:pp

and how do i know it went so well?!

CAUSE I FREAKING HAVE A JOB!

"awwwwwwwwwwwwww yeahhhhhhhhhh!"

in the words of adam,

who is probably reading this.♥

yupp!
my first job!
omgomgomg.

Mike, the manager called me.

i FREAKEDTHEFREAK out.

like,

seriously.

i did flips and twirls and spins

aaaaaaaaaaaall over my kitchen.

life,

is good.

and it's all from God!

He is a merciful and beautiful God that has blessed me with this wonderful opportunity!!!

and it only will get better from here.

cause in just a few hours,

ruth is gonna be here 

and we gonna paaaaarty it up:)

so,

i have learned,

once again,

to not to focus on the 'complaints' of your life,

but to focus on the blessings.

no,

my life isn't perfect,

and those complaints still bother me,

as long with my last post.

i'm not gonna deny it.

i still cry, CONSTANTLY 

over losing matthew.

but that's natural!
and i'm not going to fight it anymore.

or anything else that weighs me down.

but,

i'm not gonna focus on it either.

cause 

it's not suppose to be that way.

so i'll have my bumps along the way,

but life is looking up baby,

and i'm sooo excited to see what God blesses and tests me with next.

♥♥♥

not quite there.

so there's this moment in life,

when you realize that nobody really cares.

and it SUCKS.

but that's life.

and you can't count on anyone in this life,

cept God.

and yeahh,

that should be enough..

but i'll admit,

i'm not at that point in my life yet,

where i actually truly believe the above statement^..

but,

life is a walk.

not a leap.

so i'm taking many, tiny steps,

to get to that point,

where God is enough.

for now,

i need people.

not just anybody..

people who actually care.

enough to sit down,

listen to me rant and cry and scream.

no matter how wrong they think i am

and how immature i'm acting.

i just need someone to listen.

to truly care.

to truly listen.

and to truly understand.

because i'm not over it.

i thought i was..

and i just need to talk about it.

but no one seems to care.

..thanks for the reminder google chrome..

SO MUCH.

i don't even know where to begin...

there's so much going on.

but it's all just fading together.

i can't even comprehend it all.

but that's not unusual..

i have a hard time comprehending almost anything.

i swear i have a learning disability.

no joke.

there's complaint number one.

complaint number two:

guys are tools.

i'm sick of it.

they come into your life.

and they just leave.

screw you over.

well,

that's what i get for careing too much.

falling too quickly.

actually taking time to invest my life into them.

getting nothing back.

that's cool.

be a tool.

no, you're not just a tool.

you're the entire tool box.

ooooh, i wanna name call so bad.

but i feel like that'd break some sort of law....?

whatever.

doesn't even matter.

you know who you are.

"that awkward moment where someone thinks everything is about them..oh..i guess something is now.." 

complaint number three:

soo guy number one fails..

so you have guy number two.

you know two things.

1.you're happy when you're talking to him

2.you're not happy when you're not talking to him

it's simply as simple as that.

WHY CAN'T IT JUST STAY THAT SIMPLE.

feelings shouldn't exsist.

okay, that's a lie.

but that's how i feel at times like these.

cause then it gets beyond the point of happiness,

and reaches to the point of possible need..

and then you don't get what you 'need'..

ahhhhh.

whatever.

life goes on.

i have MUCH more important things to worry about.

like;

complaint number four:

college.

no, not college..

the road to college.

omgomgomg.

everything you've heard about senior year?

disregard it all.

right now.

because it's not fun.

it's not easy.

and it's not laid back.

okayokayokay.

so i guess it depends what you wanna do aaaafter you graduate..

i wanna go to college.

GCU as a matter of fact.

why does college have to cost SO DARN MUCH?

like really?
come on.

college is barely worth it these days.

and you're gonna take my families life savings?

rude.

hahaha.

yeahh, my family ain't givin me crap.

so i guess what "life savings" we have is safe.

and i'm NO where near smart enough to get merit-based scholarships.

so i get to sit in front of my computer..

for ten hours a day..

looking up and filling out scholarships and contests..

probably just wasteing my time.

with the thought running through my mind.. 

"HOW THE FREAKING CRAP AM I GOING TO PAY FOR COLLEGE?!?!"

people,

mainly..well no, only..from church keep telling me not to worry about the money.

and don't let it hinder me from the education i want..

"God will provide the money.."

okay,

fine.

i believe it.

i do..

but i can't help but to worry.

it's a big deal.

you can't deny it.

complaint number five:

so.much.drama.

i'm sick of highschool.

i wanna run away from EVERYBODY. 

and never have to deal with ANYBODY.

ever.

again.

but that ain't happen'in.

so i gotta deal.

with petty drama.

and petty people.

that can't grow up.

and can't get over the past.

and it makes my life hellish.

yayayayayayayayyyyyy.

slashnot.

</3</3</3