blessings♥

sooo i know this is probably a little,

well actually A LOT,

 different than my few previous posts.

buuut, 

life has taken a turn for the better.

i mean,

i'm always doing good.

well,

better than i deserve

 at least.

but i don't always realize it.

..who does?

this week has just been filled with beautifulness and adventures!

i've spent time with one of my best friends, LauraBelle♥

she hasn't been in my life so much recently,

but i'm glad she's back.

cause she is one of my BEST friends,

and life wouldn't be the same without her.

i've bonded with this really cool kid,

Benjamin.

we met at a concert,

and now,

he's very oddly a pretty big part of my life.

he's older and knowledgeable.

and just helps me with life.

he makes things better.

i'm thankful for him in my life,

as little that he is.

I got hit on.

woah.

shocker, right?

i was shocked.

but then again they were black,

and the black guys always like their women

big and white. :)

but seriously,

one of the best experiences of my life.

two guys walk up, one looks at me, nods and smiles.

i smile back.

he gets closer..

guy 1:"gettin some Rally's?"

me:"nahh, i have an interview!"

guy 2:"ooh, that's why she's smiling so big!"
guy 1:"ahh, she's the girl to know around here."

me:"hahaha..." 

they get their food and then walk back over to the place where i'm sitting

and waiting..

guy 1 taps me.

guy 1:"you look reaaal nice, by the way."

me:"oh! why thank you!"

guy 2:"you got that swaaag, girl"

me:"haha thanks!"

awkward silence for like, five minutes, as they

sit and eat..

guy 1:"soo what time is your interview?"

me:"it waaaas suppose to be at 2:30" (it's now like 2:50ish)

guy 1:"geeze!"

me:"yeahh, and i was like 15 minutes early.."

guy 1:"that's how it always is..you're fifteen minutes early, they're fifteen minutes late."
me:"hahaha, right?"

guy 1:"soo, do you live around here?"
me:"yupp, real close!"

guy 1:"so it's easy to get from there to here, if you work here?"

me:"yupp, pretty much!"
guy 1:"do you go to school, or what?"
me:"yeahh, i'm a senior at Mountain View.."

guy 1:"cool cool. you got a boyfriend at Mountain View?"

me:*ohhhgeeze!*"uhmmm, noo.......they're all mormon."

they both BURST out laughing.

guy 1:"ahh, so you're not mormon??"
me:"no, Christian..i go to a Baptist church."
guy 1:"Me too! i used to go to a Baptist church, but now it's too far away.."

me:"awesome! yeah, everyone thinks i'm mormon.."
guy 2:"you just got that look!"

guy 1:"yeah she does!"me:"they're style is just soooo cute sometimes."
guy 2:"what kinda stuff do you like to do?
in your free time and what not?
do you like to go to movies?.."

me:"uhmmmm.....i like to go on bike rides.

that's what i loooove to do."

guy 2:"i like to ride my bike tooo:)"

me:"awesome!"

guy 2:"mann, we've been talking to her and we don't even know her name! what's your name hun?"

me:"i'm emmajoy"

guy 1&2:"awwhhhhhh!"

me: :DD

guy 2:"she's ment to have that name! always smiling she knew that was gonna be her name."
me:"ahaha. well it was just emma, but i hate that name and my middle name is joy, so i just combined it into emmajoy!"
guy 2:"that's cute!"

me:"what's your guys' names??"
guy 1:"well i'm terrance, and this is julio."

me:"hmm, cool!"
guy 2(julio):"yeah yeah, i know, i'm a black guy named julio."

guy 1(terrance):"weird, right? hahaha"
me:"haha kinda..ahahaha"
it then get's kinda silent and terrance pulls out his phone and looks at me as the manager of Rally's comes out to get me for my interview..

me:"ahhhhh! bye guys!"
julio&terrance:"bye, good luck!"

me:"thanks!!!:D"

they sat there for 95% of my interview,

even after they finished eating.

but they left,

and as they walked by,

terrance looked back at me,

smiled and winked.

i smiled, 

massively,

back at him.

:D

WELL.

so i'm sure that's not the EXACT things that were said,

i mean, 

my memory kinda sucks.

but i know for a fact

that it was 98% that^.
:D

sooo, basically,

if i wouldn't of left,

i'm preeeetty positive terrance would've asked for my number...

and i can't decide if i would've given it to him..

?!?!?!

but anyways!
that was a GREAT day!!

ohh, and my interview went well..:pp

and how do i know it went so well?!

CAUSE I FREAKING HAVE A JOB!

"awwwwwwwwwwwwww yeahhhhhhhhhh!"

in the words of adam,

who is probably reading this.♥

yupp!
my first job!
omgomgomg.

Mike, the manager called me.

i FREAKEDTHEFREAK out.

like,

seriously.

i did flips and twirls and spins

aaaaaaaaaaaall over my kitchen.

life,

is good.

and it's all from God!

He is a merciful and beautiful God that has blessed me with this wonderful opportunity!!!

and it only will get better from here.

cause in just a few hours,

ruth is gonna be here 

and we gonna paaaaarty it up:)

so,

i have learned,

once again,

to not to focus on the 'complaints' of your life,

but to focus on the blessings.

no,

my life isn't perfect,

and those complaints still bother me,

as long with my last post.

i'm not gonna deny it.

i still cry, CONSTANTLY 

over losing matthew.

but that's natural!
and i'm not going to fight it anymore.

or anything else that weighs me down.

but,

i'm not gonna focus on it either.

cause 

it's not suppose to be that way.

so i'll have my bumps along the way,

but life is looking up baby,

and i'm sooo excited to see what God blesses and tests me with next.

♥♥♥

not quite there.

so there's this moment in life,

when you realize that nobody really cares.

and it SUCKS.

but that's life.

and you can't count on anyone in this life,

cept God.

and yeahh,

that should be enough..

but i'll admit,

i'm not at that point in my life yet,

where i actually truly believe the above statement^..

but,

life is a walk.

not a leap.

so i'm taking many, tiny steps,

to get to that point,

where God is enough.

for now,

i need people.

not just anybody..

people who actually care.

enough to sit down,

listen to me rant and cry and scream.

no matter how wrong they think i am

and how immature i'm acting.

i just need someone to listen.

to truly care.

to truly listen.

and to truly understand.

because i'm not over it.

i thought i was..

and i just need to talk about it.

but no one seems to care.

..thanks for the reminder google chrome..

SO MUCH.

i don't even know where to begin...

there's so much going on.

but it's all just fading together.

i can't even comprehend it all.

but that's not unusual..

i have a hard time comprehending almost anything.

i swear i have a learning disability.

no joke.

there's complaint number one.

complaint number two:

guys are tools.

i'm sick of it.

they come into your life.

and they just leave.

screw you over.

well,

that's what i get for careing too much.

falling too quickly.

actually taking time to invest my life into them.

getting nothing back.

that's cool.

be a tool.

no, you're not just a tool.

you're the entire tool box.

ooooh, i wanna name call so bad.

but i feel like that'd break some sort of law....?

whatever.

doesn't even matter.

you know who you are.

"that awkward moment where someone thinks everything is about them..oh..i guess something is now.." 

complaint number three:

soo guy number one fails..

so you have guy number two.

you know two things.

1.you're happy when you're talking to him

2.you're not happy when you're not talking to him

it's simply as simple as that.

WHY CAN'T IT JUST STAY THAT SIMPLE.

feelings shouldn't exsist.

okay, that's a lie.

but that's how i feel at times like these.

cause then it gets beyond the point of happiness,

and reaches to the point of possible need..

and then you don't get what you 'need'..

ahhhhh.

whatever.

life goes on.

i have MUCH more important things to worry about.

like;

complaint number four:

college.

no, not college..

the road to college.

omgomgomg.

everything you've heard about senior year?

disregard it all.

right now.

because it's not fun.

it's not easy.

and it's not laid back.

okayokayokay.

so i guess it depends what you wanna do aaaafter you graduate..

i wanna go to college.

GCU as a matter of fact.

why does college have to cost SO DARN MUCH?

like really?
come on.

college is barely worth it these days.

and you're gonna take my families life savings?

rude.

hahaha.

yeahh, my family ain't givin me crap.

so i guess what "life savings" we have is safe.

and i'm NO where near smart enough to get merit-based scholarships.

so i get to sit in front of my computer..

for ten hours a day..

looking up and filling out scholarships and contests..

probably just wasteing my time.

with the thought running through my mind.. 

"HOW THE FREAKING CRAP AM I GOING TO PAY FOR COLLEGE?!?!"

people,

mainly..well no, only..from church keep telling me not to worry about the money.

and don't let it hinder me from the education i want..

"God will provide the money.."

okay,

fine.

i believe it.

i do..

but i can't help but to worry.

it's a big deal.

you can't deny it.

complaint number five:

so.much.drama.

i'm sick of highschool.

i wanna run away from EVERYBODY. 

and never have to deal with ANYBODY.

ever.

again.

but that ain't happen'in.

so i gotta deal.

with petty drama.

and petty people.

that can't grow up.

and can't get over the past.

and it makes my life hellish.

yayayayayayayayyyyyy.

slashnot.

</3</3</3

donedonedone

you're not worth it.

you show no effort.

you cause me 0% joy

and 100% pain.

you're rude

and you could care less.

why try,

when it's too far gone to even fix?

there's honestly no point.

so,

I'M DONE.

blog, as if no one is gonna read it♥

let's start with nicole.

my dear best friend nicole♥

i love her to death!

and i'm sooo glad we're getting closer.

senRAWWR year is gonna be amazing with her.

besides this^,

life is pretty much bittersweet..

i found out my old friend gregory use to like me..

uhmmm,</3

i use to like him too.

now my heart is breaking.

because i love him to death.

lesson learned?

from now on, tell the guy you like, THAT YOU LIKE HIM.

a guy i'm crushin on,

doesn't like me.

uhmmm,</3

ughh.

i'm full of heartbreak.

BUT!

it's okay.

because i have amazing friends.

and i'll get through it<3

ohh,

and i received a great picture today..

ahaha.

ahhh.

thanks kid.

♥

first day of senRAWWR year♥

first day jitters?

not even there.

it was a great day.

i missed school.

weird, huh?

i have no first hour♥♥♥♥

get to sleep in an hour and a half more than last year.

so beautiful!

2nd hour; brit lit.

easy.

first day, 

we colored..

welcome to senior year!

3rd hour; AP psychology.

funny story..

i went to the wrong class for this hour..ahaha.

bound to happen.

buut,

i'm super psyched for psych..aha!

i'm hilarious.

4th hour; AP government.

ehh.

interested to understand our government more.

but the teacher kinda pisses me off...

weird mouth movements and speech..

i'll hopefully get use to it.

5th hour; trig.

shoot me now.

GO TOROS!

completely kidding.

i could care less.

♥

 so it's the last day of summer.

my last day of my last summer of highschool.

woah.

intense.

but it's okay.

because i've used it well..

just chillin with my bestie ruth

making weird faces:p

&esther(:

we're rather cute..and like to take pictures(:

an awesome camping photo shoot

      

john, bree and i..on an adventurous 'hike'!                  

poseing with statues(;

splashing water at each other all cutsiee♥

models in the road.

goin to the lake, like 545648421654654times:p

lookin hot, in the van. on the way to the lake

taco tubing with breanna xD

jumping off the pier like in the movies

cool punks, pre music video making:D

best picture ever, right? we look so hot when we tube.

GIRL'S RETREAT. so fun!

quatro..penne..formagio..or somethin another twinss!♥

[it was just really deliciouss!]

cuuute giiirls♥

fun girl's retreat photo shoot♥

i reconnected with a GORGEOUS old friend of mine..we were best friends, 5th-7th grade..then lost touch till 11th..and now we're best friends again. so thankful!

i love her to death! and my jelly bean mustachexD

bestfwends!

deff cute.

i really love making mustaches...♥

i hung out with this one alot..aha! we're cute. she taught me how to hold my breath under water and to dive!

sooo many thrift store shopping trips! and this creepybutt doll was seriously in the pocket of these shorts...UHMM.

..i thought my vest had bears on it..nope! they're mutli-racial children(:

i read almost all the harry potter books..and my love for voldemort has only grown stronger♥♥♥

this is kristin♥ and we spent like four hours together just catching up, since like..sophomore year.

it was insane and fun and i love her♥

and lastly, but CERTAINLY not least, i visited the colleges of my dreams..i want to go here soooo bad. and it will happen..senior year will be tough. but it's gonna be worth it.

soooooo..

it may not look like a lot..

but it was.

to mee.

because i was always having fun

and always with people i lovee.

i made neew friends this summer.

[shout out to adam, who blog stalks me!:D]

he's a great new friend of mine; thank you summer!

oh..and that devil of a pudding game.....

 not only did i have fun,

but i grew as a person..so much.

at the beginning of the summer,

i lost a really good friend of mine.

noo, he's not dead.

he's just not in my life anymore..

i thought it was going to break me.

completely tear me down

and ruin,

not only my summer,

but my life.

BUT NOPE.

and i more than just survived,

i learned sooooooo much 

and i grew, soooooooo much!

i'm thankful for the hardship of this situation.

of my life.

because it's only made me stronger.

i found God,

in situations i usually wouldn't look for him.

and brought Him more prominently in my life.

i realized how big of a part of my life He needs to be.

i found a new love for batman..♥

thank you stephen andrew shea!

"I AM CATWOMEN. HEAR ME ROAR."

obsessed.

my good friend eli roth moved away to college..

far far away..:/

BUT. we still talk.

so it's okay.

i just miss him TO DEATH♥

i learned how to crochet.

and i bought yarn and am i gonna make a milliongazillion hats!

made a beautiiful new mate...MATEY♥

aha..get it?

mate...i call her matey? 

i'm funny.

but seriously, maite..i love you♥

i dyed my hair fouuur times...

black->purple[fail]->blonde[bleach twicexD]->red

i put in my gages..

took my gages ouut..D:

i want them back.

i tried shrimp for the first time..

ew.

watched 'silence of the lambs' and decided i wanna study criminology♥

i made a twitter.

i don't use it.

i am now strong.

thank you Jesus.

i survived my first cavity!

‎""and I pray that they come from the dark side" ..emma thinks in her head-"okay, harry potter!" 

then emma bursts out laughing during praying..actually emma couldn't stop heaving during prayer. 

causing breanna to laugh and emma to just go insane. so sorry Jesus♥ but come on, that was 

HILARIOUS.."

nuff said.