first day of senRAWWR year♥

first day jitters?

not even there.

it was a great day.

i missed school.

weird, huh?

i have no first hour♥♥♥♥

get to sleep in an hour and a half more than last year.

so beautiful!

2nd hour; brit lit.

easy.

first day, 

we colored..

welcome to senior year!

3rd hour; AP psychology.

funny story..

i went to the wrong class for this hour..ahaha.

bound to happen.

buut,

i'm super psyched for psych..aha!

i'm hilarious.

4th hour; AP government.

ehh.

interested to understand our government more.

but the teacher kinda pisses me off...

weird mouth movements and speech..

i'll hopefully get use to it.

5th hour; trig.

shoot me now.

GO TOROS!

completely kidding.

i could care less.

♥

 so it's the last day of summer.

my last day of my last summer of highschool.

woah.

intense.

but it's okay.

because i've used it well..

just chillin with my bestie ruth

making weird faces:p

&esther(:

we're rather cute..and like to take pictures(:

an awesome camping photo shoot

      

john, bree and i..on an adventurous 'hike'!                  

poseing with statues(;

splashing water at each other all cutsiee♥

models in the road.

goin to the lake, like 545648421654654times:p

lookin hot, in the van. on the way to the lake

taco tubing with breanna xD

jumping off the pier like in the movies

cool punks, pre music video making:D

best picture ever, right? we look so hot when we tube.

GIRL'S RETREAT. so fun!

quatro..penne..formagio..or somethin another twinss!♥

[it was just really deliciouss!]

cuuute giiirls♥

fun girl's retreat photo shoot♥

i reconnected with a GORGEOUS old friend of mine..we were best friends, 5th-7th grade..then lost touch till 11th..and now we're best friends again. so thankful!

i love her to death! and my jelly bean mustachexD

bestfwends!

deff cute.

i really love making mustaches...♥

i hung out with this one alot..aha! we're cute. she taught me how to hold my breath under water and to dive!

sooo many thrift store shopping trips! and this creepybutt doll was seriously in the pocket of these shorts...UHMM.

..i thought my vest had bears on it..nope! they're mutli-racial children(:

i read almost all the harry potter books..and my love for voldemort has only grown stronger♥♥♥

this is kristin♥ and we spent like four hours together just catching up, since like..sophomore year.

it was insane and fun and i love her♥

and lastly, but CERTAINLY not least, i visited the colleges of my dreams..i want to go here soooo bad. and it will happen..senior year will be tough. but it's gonna be worth it.

soooooo..

it may not look like a lot..

but it was.

to mee.

because i was always having fun

and always with people i lovee.

i made neew friends this summer.

[shout out to adam, who blog stalks me!:D]

he's a great new friend of mine; thank you summer!

oh..and that devil of a pudding game.....

 not only did i have fun,

but i grew as a person..so much.

at the beginning of the summer,

i lost a really good friend of mine.

noo, he's not dead.

he's just not in my life anymore..

i thought it was going to break me.

completely tear me down

and ruin,

not only my summer,

but my life.

BUT NOPE.

and i more than just survived,

i learned sooooooo much 

and i grew, soooooooo much!

i'm thankful for the hardship of this situation.

of my life.

because it's only made me stronger.

i found God,

in situations i usually wouldn't look for him.

and brought Him more prominently in my life.

i realized how big of a part of my life He needs to be.

i found a new love for batman..♥

thank you stephen andrew shea!

"I AM CATWOMEN. HEAR ME ROAR."

obsessed.

my good friend eli roth moved away to college..

far far away..:/

BUT. we still talk.

so it's okay.

i just miss him TO DEATH♥

i learned how to crochet.

and i bought yarn and am i gonna make a milliongazillion hats!

made a beautiiful new mate...MATEY♥

aha..get it?

mate...i call her matey? 

i'm funny.

but seriously, maite..i love you♥

i dyed my hair fouuur times...

black->purple[fail]->blonde[bleach twicexD]->red

i put in my gages..

took my gages ouut..D:

i want them back.

i tried shrimp for the first time..

ew.

watched 'silence of the lambs' and decided i wanna study criminology♥

i made a twitter.

i don't use it.

i am now strong.

thank you Jesus.

i survived my first cavity!

‎""and I pray that they come from the dark side" ..emma thinks in her head-"okay, harry potter!" 

then emma bursts out laughing during praying..actually emma couldn't stop heaving during prayer. 

causing breanna to laugh and emma to just go insane. so sorry Jesus♥ but come on, that was 

HILARIOUS.."

nuff said.

it's true..you really do learn something new everyday.

yesterday,

i learned a lot.

i learned how honest i can be.

and how that honesty hurts some people.

i learned how insulting it is when someone is so upfront..
like they don't give a crap about your feelings.

i learned that honesty can be a turn on,

but it can also very well be obnoxious. 

i learned that if someone is always honest with you,

half the time their words are gonna suck.

and i learned,

that i'm too honest.

alright;

so maybe i didn't learn all of that,

as if i never knew it before.

but it's not like i ever evaluated the truth behind those words.

i have this problem,

where i rarely take the time to stop and think

about everyone else.

but.

i'm working on it.

and i'm learning.

so thank you,

stephen.

for teaching me something.

or rather,

reminding me,

of a truth.

i'm sorry that i'm too much to handle.

and i'm too honest.

..but this is me..

i'm not saying i won't change.

i will.

i will change for the better.

but i'm not going to stop being honest.

and say what i think.

because that's part of who i am.

and i'm not going to hide behind someone i'm not.

someone full of lies.

• 
  

why didn't i learn? you were his best friend.

"I'm not one to do what I'm told.

I'm not one to just go with the flow.

I don't believe what people say;

I find the truth for myself.

so when they told me you're not worth it,

I brushed it off,

and did what I wanted.

I found it out the hard way,

that unfortunately they were right.

I set my standards for you too high,

because you shot way beneath my expectations.

you made me angry and bitter,

and wanting nothing to do with you.

this isn't how I wanted it to end,

but you did this to us.

you proved that I was wrong.

in believing in you.

believing in us.

I'm not one to wish to be wrong,

but in this instance,

I wish I was.."

this was written

3.29.11

yet,

it applies to my life; currently.

not exactly..

but rather close.

funny.

actually, hilarious.

♥

nothing lasts forever..

..and that's a hard fact to face.

i've learned this,

more often then not..

one minute, life is great

because you have an awesome best friend.

the next, it's not.

because he left your life.

one day,

you're completely content and happy, beyond compare

because you have an awesome guy in your life

that just simply brings a smile to your face.

the next day,

you're not.

because things just stopped.

for a second,

things were going better

and you actually had hope.

but then the fighting persists.

and it's right back to where it was.

but that's the roller coaster of life.

and you just gotta go with the flow.

but you can never give up.

because no matter how fast it ends,

or how rough the road is,

you can never stop having hope.

because everything happens for a reason.

this awful situation has a purpose.

it will make you stronger.

God has control.

you simply just have to understand that.

completely.

and you have to be okay with that.

completely.

and most importantly,

you have to trust Him.

completely.

"when the waves are taking you under

hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

the pain ain't gonna last forever

in time it's gonna get better

believe me

this is gonna make you stronger"

-mandisa♥